Relationships are constantly changing. Some say that the past is the best predictor of the future. But, when it comes to creating and maintaining a happy relationship, the past is over and the best place to make desired changes is in the present. Change is always possible and in fact, over time it is actually inevitable. Nothing remains the same, especially in relationships.
When you focus on things that went wrong in the past, it shifts your mindset to one of doubt and anxiety. Feeling like this makes it challenging to improve your relationship circumstances. It takes clarity and a fresh perspective to solve problems and make decisions that will bring you and your partner greater happiness going forward.
Instead of looking into the past, look within yourself to see what you can do to build a new and desirable dynamic. Being aware of your part in anything that might occur in your relationship is empowering. If you don't see how you contribute it will be challenging to create new and improved interactions with your partner.
Let's say for example, that your partner is inattentive and overly involved in his or her work. Look carefully at what is going on in your own life while this is taking place. This is not about placing blame but about being empowered and recognizing that like a pebble being thrown into any body of water, each action you take has a ripple effect on your partner and everything else in your life. In taking a closer look, are you involved with meaningful work of your own, nurturing your relationships with family and friends, focusing on taking care of your emotional, intellectual, physical and spiritual well-being?
It's difficult to focus on yourself. But in doing so, you connect to your true strengths and take the focus off of your partner. Use the time when your partner seems to be preoccupied elsewhere to focus on learning new and interesting things, exercise and eating food that revitalizes and invigorates you. Spend time honoring your true self by doing things you love to do and enjoying activities that align with your personal values and goals.
Instead of relying on your partner to bring you a certain measure of happiness, entertain you and make you feel secure and loved, look within to provide these necessities for yourself. It's the most rewarding way of taking full responsibility for your life. This attention to self care almost always produces a huge, positive shift in your relationship by bringing your previously distant partner closer. He or she will initially be pulled nearer simply to see what happened to you. Your significant other will want to know why you’re no longer requesting their time and attention and why you’re so happy. Your happiness is magnetic!
You have the ability to alter the past in every moment by making changes in yourself. Start small and continue building on these steps. Relationship transformation always starts from within.
